"Sana Hindi N'yo Na Lang Ako Pinanganak": UP Grad's Viral Post Sparks National Talk on Responsible Parenthood

While graduation season typically overflows with messages of gratitude to parents, a recent graduate from the University of the Philippines Los Baños (UPLB) has ignited a nationwide conversation with a starkly honest viral post that challenges conventional narratives.

Jaynard Tiangco Ronquillo, a 22-year-old Chemical Engineering graduate from Lubao, Pampanga, began his graduation tribute with a line that resonated deeply and controversially: “Sana hindi n’yo na lang ako pinanganak.” His raw reflection, which he permitted Smart Parenting to share, has since garnered over 99,000 reactions and 39,000 shares, serving as a powerful catalyst for dialogue on responsible parenthood and the unseen struggles of children growing up in poverty.

"I just wanted to show the other side of the story," Jaynard explained, admitting that discussions with friends about generational trauma influenced his decision to open up publicly. He hoped his words would spark a much-needed conversation.

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Growing Up with Less, Dreaming Big

Jaynard painted a vivid picture of his upbringing as the eldest in a family with no prior college graduates, raised by fiercely hardworking parents striving for survival. His father juggled multiple jobs as a tricycle driver, mechanic, and driver-for-hire, while his mother balanced roles as a housekeeper, seamstress, health worker, and dishwasher.

Despite the pervasive financial hardships, Jaynard proved to be an exceptional student, consistently topping his classes and excelling in academic competitions. He saw himself as "the hopeful child," firmly believing that education was their family's sole path out of poverty.

Yet, reality often brought harsh lessons. "Why do they have things we don’t?" he recalled wondering as a child. He recounted sharing a single egg with his brother for meals, lamenting, "At a young age, I learned that life was unfair. Some kids like me were forced to ignore their hunger and focus on school, because we simply didn’t have a choice.”

"Sana Hindi N'yo Na Lang Ako Pinanganak": Words Spoken Twice

The painful phrase, "Sana hindi n’yo na lang ako pinanganak" (I wish you hadn't given birth to me), was uttered by Jaynard twice in his life, each time born out of profound frustration and despair.

The first instance occurred at age 11. During a local fiesta, his desire to try a ride with friends was met with his mother's exhausted explanation that their meager funds were solely for food. Overcome by disappointment, he blurted out the words in a tantrum.

Years later, while studying at UP as a scholar, he found himself in a similar emotional pit. Despite receiving stipends, all funds went towards family debts and basic expenses, leaving him unable to make ends meet. When he reached out to his mother again during a particularly tough period, and she had nothing to give, he repeated those painful words out of sheer exhaustion and hopelessness.

A Plea for Responsible Parenthood, Not Blame

Jaynard clarified that his intention was never to blame his parents, whom he loves deeply. Instead, his words were meant to express the immense emotional toll of growing up under such dire conditions. "But sometimes, I wonder how different their lives could have been if they had the chance to chase their own dreams—if poverty hadn’t held them back, or if they didn’t have to raise a child amid it," he reflected.

He pondered alternate lives for his parents: "What if my father, who is so skilled with his hands, had studied engineering? What if my mother, who was top of her class, went to college and became a professional?" He concluded, "Maybe in that world, I wouldn’t have been born—but maybe that would’ve been better for them."

This contemplation led to his stark appeal to future parents: "DON’T LET YOUR CHILD BE LIKE ME." It is a plea for adults to be emotionally, mentally, and financially prepared before bringing life into the world.

“Parenthood isn’t just about love—it’s about readiness,” Jaynard asserted. "It may come off as cruel, but the truth is, if having a child means exposing them to the same—or worse—pain and deprivation that I endured, it might be best to wait, or rethink the choice altogether.” He stressed that parents must be equipped to nurture, support, and raise a child in a healthy environment, as "the future of your child depends on the foundation you give them.”

A Glimmer of Hope and a Mother's Unwavering Love

Despite the hardships, Jaynard holds onto hope for a future where no child bears the burden of poverty. "I hope someday, no child will ever have to say, ‘Sana hindi n’yo na lang ako pinanganak,’” he shared.

His mother, Jennifer, responded publicly to his viral post with unwavering love and pride: "I may not have been able to give you the comforts others enjoy, but I’ve never regretted having you. Your father and I love you so much. You are a blessing to us."

Jaynard, now preparing for his board exams and seeking employment, also extended a message to other students fighting silent battles. “Your feelings are valid,” he affirmed. "Living in poverty is no joke. But let’s not lose hope—we can get through this.” His courage in sharing his truth continues to fuel a vital discussion about the profound responsibilities of parenthood in the face of societal challenges.

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